On My Personal Attitude to Work

I've always seen myself as a considerably lazy person. Partly because of my gift from God, a rare ability to learn and remember new things the moment I hear or see them - at least most of them. That way, I have almost no need to study or prepare for school at home - which gives me lots of space to be lazy. Another reason, I believe, are my benevolent parents. I am never really forced to do anything I really don't want to do. More time and space to be lazy. Yay for me?

Not really. Every time I know I should do something, my mood goes deep down. I sit in front of something boring, such as a laptop screen or a TV, and keep thinking about what I should have done. This goes on for minutes, sometimes hours, and in the better case, when the deadline comes near, I finally get up and create something half finished, making up a story why I couldn't complete it. Don't even ask about the worse case.

But enough whining. Things are starting to change, or at least I hope so. On Saturday, I came back from Scout camp. We drove to my grandma's place and the moment I got out of the shower, I realized I have nothing to do. Normally, I would find an empty TV set and try to kill boredom, but I actually started to search for any kind of useful activity. Very non-intuitive.

And as a rational being, I am looking for a reason. The only one I came up with is that in camp, I had really little time to be bored. However demanding, or even exhausting, it was, I enjoyed the doing, the making, the activity. As soon as I came home, I started to miss this all day long occupation, and I actually looked for something to satisfy my craving for action.

My mood has become much better. I have two main and new feelings. The feeling of being useful, and of having accomplished something. I fall asleep faster. I just need to keep this up. Keep your fingers crossed for me, pleeeease.

If you reveal a completely new side of you to others...

...it's like forcing the Amish to use electricity. They just can't want to accept a new thing that would destroy their own flawlessly operating world, and it's completely understandable that they don't.